Turning the Other Cheek, Finding Equipoise

David Brooks

David Brooks, popular op-ed contributor to The New York Times, manages to write about things political and things spiritual at one and the same time. In "In Praise of Equipoise," he wonders about what it is that determines who or what we most identify with in this, our contentious time of verbal brickbats being endlessly hurled back and forth at each other.

Amin Maalouf

Brooks quotes the Lebanese-born writer Amin Maalouf: "People often see themselves in terms of whichever one of their allegiances is most under attack." We see ourselves primarily as individuals who are subject to victimization by other individuals who say they hate us. We resent being "disrespected for being a Jew, a Christian, a liberal or a conservative," or whatever other label our opponents attach to us, and so we join with others being maligned with the same label, and we fight back. "Today, the world feels like a hostile environment to. … well … everyone."

Brooks adds, "Group victimization has become the global religion — from Berkeley to the alt-right to Iran — and everybody gets to assert his or her victimization is worst and it’s the other people who are the elites." This is the exact opposite of what true religion is supposed to do. As the etymology of the word indicates, religion is meant to bind us together, not tear us apart.

Religion was designed to promote community — which is why one of the principal rites of Christian churches everywhere is called "Holy Communion." But today, what passes for the erstwhile ideal of the big-tent community is actually just an "identity community." Yet these social groupings are, says Brooks, "not even real communities. They’re just a loose group of individuals, narcissistically exploring some trait in their self that others around them happen to share. Many identity-based communities are not defined by internal compassion but by external rage."

So we have today a society that spirals centrifugally outward, away from its vital center, rather than centripetally inward toward a sense of cohesive unity. It's a spiral of death, not life. "How do we get out of this spiral?" Brooks asks.

Step 1: "Turn the other cheek, love your enemy, confront your opponent with aggressive love." It's what Jesus taught, it's what Buddha taught, and it's still true today.

Step 2: Don't allow yourself to be defined by a single label affixed on you by someone who hates you. Don't attach yourself just to your label mates. Know instead that "the heart has many portals. A healthy person can have four or six vibrant attachments and honor them all as part of the fullness of life."

Step 3: Be a person with equipoise. "The person with equipoise doesn’t feel attachments less powerfully but weaves several deep allegiances into one symphony." It's all about staying in balance. "Achieving balance is an aesthetic or poetic exercise, a matter of striking the different notes harmonically. ... [S]how me a person who can gracefully balance six fervent and unexpectedly diverse commitments, and that will be the one who is ready to lead in this new world."